I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
