Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
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