well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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