I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Randomize