Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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