thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
