He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
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The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
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My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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