Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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