No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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