dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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