it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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