if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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