How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
