just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
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you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
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