Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
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I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
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I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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