He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
