And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
