moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
