wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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