Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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