If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
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