we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
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ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
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I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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