Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
