i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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