Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Terrible idea I love it
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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