I cockslap morals
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize