you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
