yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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