I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
