Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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