dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
