I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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