one two three fourrrrnication!
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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