Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize
