this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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