Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
