Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
