i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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