Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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