summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
