Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
