"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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