she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
