I want to stick my p in your. b.
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
