yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Randomize
