so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
