ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
