My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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