On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
