should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
