I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
