I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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