if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
