So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
