awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
