nutella sex= disaster
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
