i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Randomize
