All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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