Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
My liver just broke up with me...
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
