Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
