I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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