But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
