people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
